uncovering old philosophies

i was just doing some PC cleaning and I came across a small philosophical piece i wrote in 2002 (about 16 yrs old). I think its an interesting piece. I no longer agree completely with this view it at this point, but i never the less find it to be thought provoking. I especially find it interesting to look back and think about what things were going on in my life at that time, and thinking about the reasons why i may have written it.

here it is, unedited (grammer mistakes included :) )

 
Spontaneous Philo (2002)

LIVING LIFE

  TEMPORARY GOAL OF LIFE[1]:

 Achieve the greatest amount of positive live emotion with the least amount of stress.

 There are three various ways in which one can go through life. 

                        Living Life

                        Losing Life

                        Controlling Life

 1) The first is living your life.  By this I mean that a person acts when acted upon, and makes no real plan or scheme for success yet still works hard when opportunity arises.  This person experiences all emotions in the real and is not thoroughly prepared for any emotion.  By “living life” one experiences the greatest feeling and a stress free life yet not necessarily a successful life by today’s high standards.  The most simplistic example of this is a man who works an average job and instead of hustling to make more money through more hours or a second job this man is satisfied with his level of input and output. This man does not plan, scheme or use great intellect to acquire his goals instead he acts primarily on instinct. 

 The next two ways to go through life are extremes and are completely opposite in theory.  Yet because of the nature of the extremities they will ultimately yield the same result.    

 2) The next is losing you life.  This occurs when one becomes completely careless in the quest for success in life.  This person cares not about there future yet only for the exact moment the live in.  This person will not even have the opportunity for success because they don’t want it bad enough.  Because this apathetic person did not thrive for luxuries in life they do not possess any, thus leading to the majority of their feelings being that of depression. 

 3) The third and final is controlling life. While it seems as though this is the ideal way to live in truth it is not. By planning the future and acting on plan instead of instinct one can find themselves lost in emotion.  Elaboration: By deciding every word you say before you say it can lead to a detachment from the emotion every word carries.  By scheming the outcomes of situations people disengage from reality and enter a game. The person that “controls” their life never experiences life in the real, and while they may be successful through every possible window inside they have never felt true emotions of pain or suffering. 

 Now that all is said and done find where you reside; I assume not many people who are losing the game know it and there for can’t admit it.  Although those who are sure they are controlling their own lives may want to reassess their goals of life, and if they truly are happy. 

 The best place to be is between living and controlling.  It is hard to say which is more important because in terms of happiness they go hand in hand.  

 People can not achieve great happiness after working hard for success throughout there life.  Is it more important to enjoy life now or later?  Keep in mind that fate is indeterminable and people may die and lose their later.  Although don’t let this be a trigger to completely live for the now and temporary enjoy all time; this most definitely will lead to losing life.  It is extremely difficult to implement a new way to live life after years of another way, yet these are all things to keep in mind when trying to get the most out of the time we have to spend here. 

[1] Temporary because I have yet to come up with the ultimate goal of life.